How well do you remember the student who threw tantrums every day in your classroom? What will you remember about the pandemic of 2020 (wearing masks, social distancing, scrambling to get distance learning going)? Will you remember it as an awful, wasted year of your life? Maybe you’d like to have uplifting memories in your life instead of unhappy ones. Keep reading… it may be easier than you think.

The Research

Are your memories mostly true? After all, they are partly based on your own experiences, what you learn from the news and from other sources. Many variables will influence accuracy. The role you play as observer, participant, victim, etc. matters. The intensity of the event (if you are close up or far away) matters. The complexity (more or less details) of the event matters.

Additionally, the emotional tone matters. For example, strong negative emotional events (trauma, crisis, accidents) enhance gist memory and are often sketchy for details unless you were in a specific role at the event (Sharot, Martorella, Delgado & Phelps, 2007). Finally, the way others around you respond to what they hear can influence your memory (Sotgiu & Rusconi, 2014). In short, our memories are a kaleidoscope of fragments that often take work to get right.

This month, two things are critical to understand. First, you can influence the creation of your memories. Second, after a while you can modify your memories.

Most of your memories are just good enough to get by. It’s time for you to start driving your own bus and have better memories.

Let’s return to our opening comments about the tantrum-throwing student and COVID memories. How might you influence your own memories from the year 2020? “Don’t they just ‘happen’ to us?” you might ask. The answer is Yes and No. New memories are mediated by a host of A-B-C factors including Awareness, Background and Complexity.

• Awareness of your orientation and relevance of the input. In other words, is it meaningful to you? Does this memory event have some connection (a self-reference) to you? What are your own biases and perspectives?
• Background and prior memories may influence and bias new memory formation. Does your background include having mental tools to attack biases? Your old memories (distorted, biased, false, etc.) can influence new memories. (Goldfarb, Chun & Phelps, 2016). What you think should be happening can create denial of what is happening. Memories can be very messy!
• Complexity (including intensity) of the sensory input (emotions, smell, actions, touch, visual, auditory, taste, the localized environment, etc.) impacts memory quality. Greater intensity leads to stronger memories (Roozendaal B, McEwen BS, Chattarji S 2009). More confusion reduces quality of memories.

Let’s frame the memory issue around just two things for the moment: classrooms and your health. If a teacher remembers more of the good things that a student does, expectations rise. In the case of the student who throws tantrums, in the teachers mind the negative memories this action produces may prevail over the positive memories of that particular student. In both cases, the retelling of these memories as stories will strengthen the memory (Kida, 2020).

Next, let’s turn to your health and the pandemic. Perhaps you thought the media was helpful in guiding your actions through the COVID ‘crisis’. Others might disagree and think the media has been highly selective or blatantly biased in their reporting of the disease. Biases, either way, can influence your memories. There were at least 16 major media biases used daily to publicize this pandemic, orchestrate viewer thinking, and influence your behaviors (https://fee.org/articles/the-cognitive-biases-behind-societys-response-to-covid-19/). This link will help you understand how the media has biased your memories.

So, how do we make choices in the matter of forming some ‘positive’ memories? Each of us has three possible paths for making memory changes:

1) Your initial attention    In your classroom, the attention and emotion you give to students will impact both your memory of them and their memory of you. Doing reviews of the classroom content is important, and so are your own mental reviews about each student.

On the health concern, you might give attentional time to the media news about the pandemic. The news generally appears in short 15-90 second snippets on TV or radio. By itself, this invites brain biases (shortcuts in thinking) because of a lack of time to pause, reflect, and verify (Masip, Garrido & Herrero, 2009). Maybe you choose the exact same news sources each day (familiarity bias). This choice of limited news sources embeds selective info into your brain using confirmation biases (Goldfarb, Chun & Phelps, 2016). If your TV or Internet news is mostly negative, you remember it better. Why? Your survival brain says, “Pay attention to risks!” Your brain has a memory bias for remembering mostly negative input (Kätsyri, Kinnunen, Kusumoto, Oittinen & Ravaja, 2016).

2) Your own emotional state    Your ‘state’ is critical for the tone in your memory formation. During the time any new memory is formed, your own state is an influencer. Are you stressed or angry? Do you believe what you’re being told, or are you a healthy skeptic? Emotions play into your memory formation (Jiang, Brashier & Egner, 2015). For example, when you’re moderately stressed, you enhance memory formation. But too little or too much stress may not evoke the right balance of cortisol for optimal memories (van Stegeren, 2008).

3) Your later retrieval and retelling of the memory    What you re-tell and share with others matters. Why? Each re-telling of the story either confirms or modifies the memory (Yuan, Major-Girardin, & Brown, 2018). As an example, the fisherman stands with his hands held apart, and says, “The fish was THIS big.” But with each story told, the hands are held a bit further apart (very sneaky). Another example you hear, “The flight was packed; not a single empty seat.” But were there empty seats you missed? Could you have mixed up this flight with another one you took? Did you recall the fight attendant say, “This flight is almost (or nearly) full”? What you see and hear can bias your memories. Then we end up with false memories. We believe something is true when it is actually a lie. This can happen both in the short term and the long term (Abadie & Camos, 2019).

We now know that reactivating memories creates a neurological ‘window’ where the memory retrieved is most susceptible to being changed. Your ‘apparently’ stable memories need an activated and unstable state for you to modify them during a process known as reconsolidation. As you recall a memory, it is more easily altered and susceptible to future modifications (Schwabe, Nader & Pruessner, 2014). Now, let’s turn to how to make better memories.

Practical Applications

First, is there any good reason to shape, influence, or alter memories? You might believe that some negative memories serve you well. “He’s the student who throws chairs, so I’ll be cautious around him.” But that memory alone would bias you to connect with that student less, and maybe avoid fostering your usual warmth. Yet, when you orchestrate close connections or positive feelings in class with that student, you’ll find you can ‘have your cake and eat it too.’ How? The broader relationship will strengthen because you ‘balanced’ the negative memories with positive ones.

As we age, we start to value the good memories more. More positive memories can make for a better life. We all know of people who have had a seemingly fairytale life and yet their memories could be awful. Then, there are also those who have had dicey or negative events happen to them, and they recall, “We were so lucky to get out of that alive. Even today, it fills me with gratitude.”

As you can see, making and modifying memories is mostly up to you. Here are three ways to get started making memories better.

1) Influence your initial attention (manage the original input of the memory). In the classroom, when you smile more at students, nod your head and give their response more time and appreciation, stronger emotional memories are formed in both you and them.

At home, let’s say that you invested 15-45 minutes a day (we all are different) on local and national news. Instead of having your favorite “go to” familiar source, invite new input to your brain to broaden your understanding and memory. How do you do this? Check out the site where a nonprofit rates the major media sources and highlights which are more liberal and which are more conservative. I love this site! Go to: www.adfontesmedia.com Diversify the media sources you consume daily (liberal, middle of the road,­ and conservative). By the end of the week, you will have heard many voices and opinions. As a result, you will be a more sane, happier person and your memories will improve. I use this suggestion by engaging 5-8 sources for my own news every week.

2) Manage your emotional state. At school, teachers often have strategies to clear their head between classes or on breaks. Since your own emotional state will flavor the memories formed, ensure you are feeling at least neutral (or pretty good) as you head back into the classroom.

If you’re home, go for a short walk, listen to your favorite music, or go to websites that help you feel better. Use Calm.com, 1000awesomethings.com or watch the video at intenseexperiences.com/being-happy.html, The takeaway here is simple; you influence your brain not just with content, but with your feelings.

3) Be purposeful in retelling or shaping the memory. Ask yourself, “What kind of memories do I want?” Savvy classroom teachers begin early with ‘sculpting and shaping’ the news, the experiences, and the daily ‘student stories’ into a coherent narrative for youngsters (Westby & Culatta, 2016). For social and emotional skills, cultural awareness, and sense of self, helping students construct a useful narrative of childhood can be healing (Hammack & Toolis, 2014).

When researchers studied traumatic events in children, those children who had caregivers who helped them ‘shape their memories’ into a coherent storyline fared better. What mattered most was providing detailed and coherent personal narratives. By the time the kids were in elementary school, children typically showed a unique, positive, and coherent sense of self (Fivush, Habermas, Waters & Zaman, 2011).

But what about adults? The evidence suggests that developing a coherent narrative (purposeful memory we have shaped in our brain) about an event is actually better than having social support (Vanaken, Smeets, Bijttebier & Hermans, 2021). In short, when you recall a memory, putting a healthy spin on it may help you (or others) sleep better at night.

We started with a question; Are Your Memories Fake? Only you know your own world. During the health crisis we have all been dealing with, did you become more aware of other’s needs? Did you have to learn new skills? Did you invest more time with those close to you? Did you take the opportunity to slow down? Did you choose to eat better? The choice of pandemic memories is an open door. Instead of memories formed by those who are stressed, ‘losing it’, or selling you on their version of the “news”, it’s in your hands (well, in your brain) to shape healthy memories.

Eric Jensen
CEO, Jensen Learning
Brain-Based Education

CITATIONS:

Abadie M, Camos V. (2019). False memory at short and long term. J Exp Psychol Gen. 148,1312-1334.

Conway, M. A., & Pleydell-Pearce, C. W. (2000). The construction of autobiographical memories in the self-memory system. Psychological Review, 107, 261–288.

Fivush R, Habermas T, Waters TE, Zaman W. (2011). The making of autobiographical memory: intersections of culture, narratives and identity. Int J Psychol. 46, 321-45.

Goldfarb EV, Chun MM, & Phelps EA. (2016). Memory-Guided Attention: Independent Contributions of the Hippocampus and Striatum. Neuron. 89, 317-24.

Eppinger B, Herbert M, Kray J. (2010). We remember the good things: Age differences in learning and memory. Neurobiology Learn Mem. 93, 515-21.

Hammack, PL & Toolis, E. (2014). Narrative and the social construction of adulthood. New Dir. Child Adolesc Dev. 145, 43-56.

Jiang J, Brashier NM, Egner T. (2015). Memory Meets Control in Hippocampal and Striatal Binding of Stimuli, Responses, and Attentional Control States. J Neurosci. 35,14885-95.

Kätsyri J, Kinnunen T, Kusumoto K, Oittinen P, Ravaja N. 2016. Negativity Bias in Media Multitasking: The Effects of Negative Social Media Messages on Attention to Television News Broadcasts. PLoS One.11(5):e0153712.

Kida S. (2020). Function and mechanisms of memory destabilization and reconsolidation after retrieval. Proc Jpn Acad Ser B Phys Biol Sci.96, 95-106.

Lee JLC, Nader K, Schiller D. (2017). An Update on Memory Reconsolidation Updating. Trends Cogn Sci. 7, 531-545.

Masip J, Garrido E, Herrero C. (2009). Heuristic versus systematic processing of information in detecting deception: questioning the truth bias. Psychol Rep. 105, 11-36.

Roozendaal B, McEwen BS, Chattarji S 2009). Stress, memory and the amygdala. Nat Rev Neurosci. 10, 423-33.

Roozendaal B, McGaugh JL. (2011). Memory modulation. Behav Neurosci. 125,797-824.

Schwabe L, Nader K, Pruessner JC. (2014). Reconsolidation of human memory: brain mechanisms and clinical relevance. Biol Psychiatry. 76, 274-80.

Sharot T, Martorella EA, Delgado MR, Phelps EA. (2007). How personal experience modulates the neural circuitry of memories of September 11. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 104,389-94.

Sotgiu I, Rusconi ML. (2014). Why autobiographical memories for traumatic and emotional events might diffsr: theoretical arguments and empirical evidence. J Psychol.148, 523-47.

Vanaken L, Smeets T, Bijttebier P, Hermans D. (2021). Keep Calm and Carry On: The Relations Between Narrative Coherence, Trauma, Social Support, Psychological Well-Being, and Cortisol Responses. Front Psychol. 12, 558044.

van Stegeren AH (2008). The role of the noradrenergic system in emotional memory. Acta Psychol (Amst). 127, 532-41.

Westby C, Culatta B. (2016). Telling Tales: Personal Event Narratives and Life Stories. Lang Speech Hear Serv Sch. 47, 260-282.

Yuan, Y., Major-Girardin, J., & Brown, S. (2018). Storytelling Is Intrinsically Mentalistic: A Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging Study of Narrative Production across Modalities. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 30, 1298–1314.

The cries of “Wagons Ho!” echoed through the morning air. It was just another day in her family’s long journey west along the Oregon Trail in 1850. Her oxen trudged along the 2,000-mile trail, following the predictable ruts left by other wagon wheels – in some places up to 5 feet deep.

Traveling life in a “rut” can be efficient and convenient. But 2020 dropped an enormous boulder on your path. Some ruts you’ll want to return to. Maybe you’d like to blaze some new trails. Either way, you should know how the pandemic has impacted your habits – now, and in the future.

Here is the surprising reality: There are times when it is easier to make and break habits. We’re in one of those openings right now, but it is quickly coming to an end. Take advantage of this opportunity and make the changes for a better you.

You are likely thinking more about your ideal post-vaccine lifestyle. There are a few things you should know about how the pandemic has impacted your habit-making. This month’s newsletter is dedicated to helping you in three specific ways:

1. How to KEEP the 2020 habits you want to continue doing (e.g., evening family walks, baking bread)
2. How to BREAK the ones you don’t want to stick around (e.g., stress eating, contention with relatives)
3. How to MAKE new habits as we re-enter our old environments. (e.g., prioritize social learning, connect with neighbors regularly)

The Research

Why It’s Been Easy to Form New Habits
To understand why it’s been easy to create new habits you’ll need to understand what prompts the brain to change course. Let’s focus in on two main reasons why the brain is quick to change its habits: 1) need for survival, and 2) abrupt changes in your environment (Carden & Wood, 2018).

1. Survival – the brain is quick to adapt and change if it increases your chance of survival (Mattson, Moehl, Ghena, Schmaedick, & Cheng, 2018). With a global pandemic, you’ve likely made new habits to keep you and your loved ones safe. Other habits were necessary to ‘survive’ your local regulations. Perhaps you started a new exercise habit to reverse an ‘underlying condition’, thus to minimize your risk with the pandemic. You likely learned a new tech-habit to help you survive virtual teaching. And you probably found new ways to connect with loved ones. A wise decision, since strong social connections are important for survival (Holt-Lunstad, & Smith, 2010).

   Other habits were immediately broken for the same reason – survival. You were no longer able to greet students at the door with a high-five. Friday night dates at a restaurant and movie theater ceased. And you stopped worshipping together inside churches with singing. Why? Large groups decreased your chance of survival.

2. Changes in your Environment – Have you ever noticed how easy it is to start/stop a habit when you move classrooms, move homes, or change jobs? Your environment is a major trigger for your habits (Gardner, 2012). For nearly all of us, our environments changed drastically in the Spring of 2020. Your classroom shifted to your living room. Some of you have gone back to a building, albeit a very different looking environment. Many of you continue to be at home. Your gym closed. Many of the stores you frequent have been closed or have made drastic changes in their environment. Another change would be the loss of a family member to a disease, accident, or chronic condition.

Because of these two factors (survival and changes in your environment), you have likely created new habits. You might want to hang onto some of them in a post-vaccine world. Your evening walks while talking to a friend on the phone. The Sunday afternoon Zoom call with relatives. The relationship building/emotional check-in at the beginning of every single class session.

Why Keeping Your Favorite Habits Can Be Elusive
Your post-vaccine environment will look very similar to your pre-pandemic environment. What does that mean for your brain? It will be VERY easy to slip back into the “ruts” of familiar (pre-pandemic) patterns. Why? Because of all the familiar cues that will be restored to your environment.

You may be tossed back into your old familiar environment with little warning. (Some of you already have been.) The traffic will return. Students chit-chatting during your lesson may return. State and national testing will likely return. You’ll want to be prepared for this re-entry if you have any hope of creating a “new” normal with new habits.

It is often an environmental cue that triggers the brain to initiate a habit. For instance, the school bell rings and your brain is triggered to start your pre-pandemic morning sequence of work. But wait… 2020 taught you that you wanted to do an emotional check-in at the beginning of every class. What happened?

Your Brain’s Wagon Ruts – Habits
Your brain reverted to an old, well-established habit, brought on by an environmental trigger (or cue)… the bell. Here is how it plays out in your brain.

First, a familiar signal is received – the school bell rings. Certain neurons in your stratium (a small region in the basal ganglia) get overly excited. Why? They sense a familiar sequence is ready to start.

Next, those neurons essentially go quiet as the pre-established habit sequence plays out on auto-pilot. (This is you and your oxen trudging along, just following the existing ‘ruts’ of morning routines.)

Neurons in the stratium fire rapidly again after the habit sequence. This marks the completion of the habit (Martiros, Burgess, & Graybiel, 2018) and the end of the wagon ruts. Finally, your brain’s reward chemical, dopamine, is released. In essence, the dopamine motivates the brain to repeat the cycle, reinforcing the habit.

You will soon return to a more familiar lifestyle. Your brain’s natural systems will be pressuring you to return to the old familiar ‘ruts.’ You’ll need the skills below to respond differently to the cues in your environment.

With focus and effort, you can grab hold of the reins and continue to travel the ‘ruts’ you’ve always enjoyed. And, you can create new paths based on any new priorities 2020 has gifted you.

Before we share how to create the 2021 of your dreams, take a moment to reflect:

• What are 3 ‘Pandemic’ habits I want to keep
• What are 3 ‘Pandemic’ habits I want to eliminate
• What is one new habit I want to form post-vaccine

Practical Applications

Amidst tremendous loss and unsustainable workload stress, there’s been an ‘awakening’ in 2020. People are waking up to what matters most – personally, professionally, and socially. You can make 2021 better than 2020, and every year before that. Here are 3 tools to help you keep, break, and make the habits you want.

1. Focus on your Identity (not the behavior)

   You might be thinking, “I want to keep doing the weekly Zoom thing with my relatives.” Embrace the identity of “I am one who values family. I believe in connecting with family regularly.” Identity-based habits are more motivating than process-driven goals (Oyserman & Destin, 2010).

   As you dream of your post-vaccine world, design your habits to fit the identity you hope to create. Sit down and draft a series of identity statements for your ideal personal, social, and professional life.

   To KEEP a habit of spending quality time with your partner: I am an attentive listener to my partner.
   
   To BREAK a habit of isolating from friends: I am a friend who shows up for celebrations, sorrows, and hard days.
   
   To MAKE a habit of prioritizing relationships: I am a teacher who values the relational aspects of learning.

   Post these statements where you can see them regularly to remind you of WHO you want to be. Or, make it be the background screen on your mobile device.

2. Remind yourself WHY your habit matters

   You are more likely to stay motivated to make, keep, and break habits when you remember WHY it is important to you. The brain gives greater attention to things it finds relevant and meaningful (Stemmann & Freiwald, 2019).

   Your pre-pandemic environment will try to nudge you back into familiar neurological ruts. Be ready with some powerful WHY statements to keep you on your new path. Ask yourself: What’s the value of this habit for me? What will I/my family/my students gain from this habit? Visual cues or verbal daily mantras can be useful tools to remind you of WHY you want:

To KEEP a habit of Friday game night: A family that plays together stays together.

To BREAK a habit of staying on the couch: I am one workout away from a good mood.

To MAKE a habit of connecting with students daily: Relationships build a strong foundation for learning.

3. Prepare your environment

   Returning to all your old environment cues will pressure your brain to revert to old habits. Here are a few ways you can ‘hack’ your brain and provide cues for the new and improved you:

   To KEEP a habit: Create visual cues to remind yourself of the things you want to continue doing. What might remind you of what you’ve learned during 2020? (A picture of family? A screenshot of a Zoom chat where students shared how much they love having time to connect personally?)

   To MAKE a habit: Create auto-reminder systems. (Commit with friends to get together once a month; then put it as a recurring calendar reminder. Set-up your bank account to auto-donate a few dollars to a cause you’ve become more appreciative of in 2020.)

   To BREAK an old habit: Make a few drastic changes to your environment to avoid sliding back into old patterns. (Rotate/flip your classroom setup or redesign your learning space to prioritize social learning. Change your morning routine (at home or school) or find a new route to get to school. Make a permanent wardrobe change (start wearing a tie each day if you didn’t before. Mentally connect the tie to a new habit you are working to create.)

   Slipping right back into the ruts of old habits will be the reality for most. But, not YOU. 2020 has brought a new perspective to our personal and professional lives. Take advantage of that gift and use the tools above to make your 2021 life (and beyond) better. Wagons Ho!

CITATIONS:
Carden, L., & Wood, W. (2018). Habit formation and change. Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences, 20, 117-122.

Gardner, B. (2012). Habit as automaticity, not frequency. European Health Psychologist, 14(2), 32-36.

Holt-Lunstad, J., & Smith, T. (2010). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-
analytic Review. SciVee.

Martiros, N., Burgess, A. A., & Graybiel, A. M. (2018). Inversely active striatal projection neurons and interneurons selectively delimit useful behavioral sequences. Current Biology, 28(4), 560-573.

Mattson, M. P., Moehl, K., Ghena, N., Schmaedick, M., & Cheng, A. (2018). Intermittent metabolic switching, neuroplasticity and brain health. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 19(2), 63.

Neal, D. T., Wood, W., Labrecque, J. S., & Lally, P. (2012). How do habits guide behavior? Perceived and actual triggers of habits in daily life. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(2), 492-498.

Oyserman, D., & Destin, M. (2010). Identity-based motivation: Implications for intervention. The Counseling Psychologist, 38(7), 1001-1043.

Stemmann, H., & Freiwald, W. A. (2019). Evidence for an attentional priority map in inferotemporal cortex. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116(47), 23797-23805.

Why is it that we feel so much comfort when someone says, “I feel your pain,” “I get it,” “I know what that is like,” or “I’ve been there. I know it’s hard.”

These phrases transform our perception from ‘I am suffering alone’ to ‘Someone who cares about me understands this pain.’ Empathy is a dying trait and one the world desperately needs to have come back. How did we get here? And how do we bring it back? For starters …

The Research

There has been a recent surge among researchers and educators about empathy for a good reason. This blog post takes on three big questions relating to empathy:

1. What is empathy? What are its benefits, and are there potential dangers of having too much empathy?
2. What factors limit our ability to empathize?
3. How can you develop healthy levels of empathy with your students?

As always, you can count on us to bring you high-quality, evidence-based answers to these profound questions. Let’s dive in.

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the intentional attempt to imagine what it is like to be in the emotional situation of another person. Biologically speaking, empathy is the capacity to map another’s experience onto our own brain by using similar neural pathways. These neural maps will roughly mimic the experience of another in your own brain (hence, empathy).

Some experts claim we are not born empathic (Heyes, 2018), but nearly all of us can learn and develop this trait. Exceptions might include some persons on the autism spectrum or those with psychopathy (Lockwood, 2016). When empathy does happen, there are two common pathways.

1. When you can relate to the experience of another, you activate memories of your own comparable situation, thus, creating an emotional response based on those memories. In your brain, this process involves the mirror neurons, insula, and emotion-based networks (de Waal & Preston, 2017).

2. When you can NOT relate to the experience of another, empathy is achieved by trying to imagine what it is like to be in their situation. This is the “try to put yourself in their shoes” approach. Brain activations are completely different in this scenario, compared to #1 above (Preston et al., 2007).

As you might imagine, the first pathway above typically produces higher levels of empathy due to greater emotional connectivity. Researchers describe this as affective empathy – feeling the same emotion as the other person and compassion that motivates you to extend comfort. As an example, if you and a friend have both experienced the loss of a loved one, there is likely a stronger empathic response in both persons.

Why Should We Be Empathic?

What are the implications of having higher levels of empathy? In other words, what are you, your students, and society gaining when empathy levels are high? Here are just a few of the benefits associated with empathy:

• Greater compassion and altruism. Compassion and altruism cannot exist without empathy (Riess, 2017). Compassion involves a desire to help ease the  suffering of another. Altruism is selflessly acting in a way to relieve the pain of another.
• Reduces racism. (Todd, Bodenhausen, Richeson, & Galinsky, 2011).
• Reduces bullying and school violence. (Santos, Chartier, Whalen, Chateau, & Boyd, 2011).
• Improves relationships. From friendships to romantic partners, empathy boosts the quality of the relationship. (Block‐Lerner, Adair, Plumb, Rhatigan, & Orsillo,  2007).

Can You Have Too Much Empathy?

Empathy or compassion “fatigue” is a real syndrome that can impact anyone who becomes distressed by the suffering of others. It is common among educators who take on too much of the emotional pain of others as if it is their own (Sharp Donahoo, Siegrist, & Garrett-Wright, 2018).

Compassion fatigue is a common struggle for people who are naturally more empathic than others. Approximately 20% of the population can be described as being Highly Sensitive (Acevedo et al., 2014). This innate trait can be described as a heightened sensitivity to physical and emotional stimuli, including the emotions and moods of others. Highly Sensitive people (including Highly Sensitive children) tend to have a higher baseline of empathy.

The takeaway here is simple. Empathy, like many other feeling states, can be destructive at its extremes. Just as it is healthy to occasionally experience mild anger (irritation) but not intense anger (fury), empathy also needs delicate regulation.

Are we Losing the Empathy Skill? What Limits our Ability to Empathize?

Today’s college students are over 40% less empathic than college students in the 1980s and 90s (Konrath, O’Brien, & Hsing, 2011). Why such a shocking decline?

It is difficult to extrapolate what is causing the decline of empathy. However, there is concrete evidence suggesting the following factors decrease empathy.

•    Stress: Acute, brief periods of stress inhibit one’s ability to be empathic in the short-term (Margittai et al., 2015). Chronic stress puts a prolonged strain on the body and brain that can alter the brain’s stress response. This “re-set” (examples would include PTSD and depression) is called allostasis. Allostasis is a Greek word meaning an adjusted or changed stress load. This altered level of stress, and the resulting allostatic load, reduces empathic behavior (Feldman, Levy, & Yirmiya, 2019).

•    Cultural biases: People show a more empathic response to others who look like them, act like them, and share common values (Riess, 2017). These same biases compromise one’s ability to empathize, for example, with people suffering in other parts of the world. Empathic biases are also more likely to show up with a different ethnicity and for those of a different political affiliation.

•    Media: Social media (e.g., texting, Snapchat, emails, Facebook, violent video games) have been vehicles often used with decreasing empathy (Anderson, 2017).

The above referenced study (Konrath, O’Brien, & Hsing, 2011) also points to the wide-spread use of social media that has contributed to reduced face-to-face interactions and the “me” culture, prominent among millennials.

Based on these factors, a clearer picture emerges as to why we’re seeing a surge of headlines calling for a greater focus on fostering empathy in our education systems. The good news is there is much that can be done to reverse these trends.

Practical Application

Below you will find practical tools to foster greater empathy among your students, and which can work for you, too. Be sure to check out the section at the end about how to avoid “empathy burnout,” especially if you work with students who’ve had their unfair share of adverse childhood experiences.

1. Teach the Skills of Empathy 
Start by teaching the skills associated with being empathic: good listening, perspective-taking, and compassion.

How do you teach these skills? Begin with role modeling, direct instruction, practice, and feedback. Teach students to make eye contact, face the speaker, restate critical points, or ask clarifying questions. To teach perspective-taking, find autobiographical reading passages written by those often misunderstood. Present an issue and have students defend one side; then, have them switch and defend the other perspective.

Since healthy levels of empathy lead to compassion, support students to organize their efforts and do something altruistic for those they are learning to have an understanding of. Will a Kindergarten bake sale to raise money for the victims of the fires in Australia make a significant dent in that costly tragedy? No, but the contributions may foster the students’ empathy and will get the donations going!

2. Find Common Ground
It can be tough for some students to connect with the experiences of those suffering in ways they cannot relate to. How can a student living in the suburbs with three grocery stores within a mile of their home empathize with those starving in mud villages halfway across the world? Or, bringing it closer to home, how do you help a student feel empathy for their classmate who just lost a parent when they have never experienced that kind of loss themselves?

Remember, empathy does not require one to have experienced the exact same circumstance. What is needed is a connection to the same feeling. “Have you ever been so hungry your stomach hurt really bad? Imagine feeling like that all the time.” Or, “Has your mom/dad ever gone away on a LONG trip and you missed them so much it hurts? Remember what that felt like.”

3. Just for Teachers: Avoid empathy burnout
Students witnessing or experiencing trauma (e.g. school shooting, death of a friend, family mamber or teacher, the aftermath of a weather catastrophe) is heart-breaking, and it can have a considerable impact on you. How can you still be at your best for your students?

Those with a high capacity for empathy can often “go numb.” How can you still find a healthy way to tune into the emotional pain of your students? There is evidence (Jeffrey & Downie, 2016) for the following three tools:

1. Take the “I” out of Empathy. Too often, when someone is suffering, people think: How would I feel if this was happening to me? Turns out internalizing ‘their experience’ does little to help you or them. Instead, focus on their perspective: How might ____ be feeling right now? Keeping this small distance from the experience helps you stay more resourceful and able to act on your compassion.

2. Re-tool Your Mind. If you find yourself leaving school every day upset, sad, or in tears, a daily mindfulness routine can help you relax and recharge. Check out each of these three app options: Calm®, Waking Up®, or Smiling Mind®. One of them may be right for you. Remember, unless you are serious about changing, shifting, or upgrading your brain, nothing will change for the better.

3. Put Your Big Feelings into Action. Pro-social behaviors can build greater resilience in you and increase your capacity to be with those who are suffering. Volunteer once a month at a food bank; clean out your bookshelves and donate them to a women’s shelter; donate money to a cause you are passionate about. There are endless ways to be your most altruistic and generous self. Want to find a way to give back to your local community? Go to: www.justserve.org and type in your zip code for a list of local organizations looking for volunteers.

As social beings, it is critical that we continue to connect with each other, including (and perhaps, especially) through struggles and suffering. It brings us closer together and helps us heal. From the suggestions above, take one small step toward healthy levels of empathy for you and your students.

Eric Jensen
CEO, Jensen Learning
Brain-Based Education

CITATIONS:

Acevedo, B. P., Aron, E. N., Aron, A., Sangster, M. D., Collins, N., & Brown, L. L. (2014). The highly sensitive brain: an fMRI study of sensory processing sensitivity and response to others’ emotions. Brain and behavior, 4(4), 580-594.

Anderson, C. A., Bushman, B. J., Bartholow, B. D., Cantor, J., Christakis, D., Coyne, S. M., … & Huesmann, R. (2017). Screen violence and youth behavior.  Pediatrics, 14(Supplement 2), S142-S147.

Block Lerner, J., Adair, C., Plumb, J. C., Rhatigan, D. L., & Orsillo, S. M. (2007). The case for mindfulness‐based approaches in the cultivation of empathy: Does nonjudgmental, present‐moment awareness increase capacity for perspective taking and empathic concern? Journal of marital and family therapy, 33(4), 501-516.

de Waal, F. B., & Preston, S. D. (2017). Mammalian empathy: behavioural manifestations and neural basis. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 18(8), 498.

Feldman, R., Levy, Y., & Yirmiya, K. (2019). The Neural Basis of Empathy and Empathic Behavior in the Context of Chronic Trauma. Frontiers in psychiatry, 10, 562.

Heyes, C. (2018). Empathy is not in our genes. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews.
95, 499-507.

Jeffrey, D., & Downie, R. (2016). Empathy-can it be taught? Journal of the Royal College of Physicians of Edinburgh, 46(2), 107-112.

Konrath, S. H., O’Brien, E. H., & Hsing, C. (2011). Changes in dispositional empathy in American college students over time: A meta-analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 15(2), 180-198.

Lockwood, P. L. (2016). The anatomy of empathy: Vicarious experience and disorders of social cognition. Behavioural brain research, 311, 255-266.

Margittai, Z., Strombach, T., Van Wingerden, M., Joels, M., Schwabe, L., & Kalenscher, T. (2015). A friend in need: time-dependent effects of stress on social discounting in men. Hormones and Behavior, 73, 75-82.

Preston, S. D., Bechara, A., Damasio, H., Grabowski, T. J., Stansfield, R. B., Mehta, S., & Damasio, A. R. (2007). The neural substrates of cognitive empathy. Social Neuroscience, 2(3-4), 254-275.

Riess, H. (2017). The science of empathy. Journal of patient experience, 4(2), 74-77.

Santos, R. G., Chartier, M. J., Whalen, J. C., Chateau, D., & Boyd, L. (2011). Effectiveness of school-based violence prevention for children and youth: a research report. Healthcare quarterly, 14(Special Issue 2).

Sharp Donahoo, L. M., Siegrist, B., & Garrett-Wright, D. (2018). Addressing compassion fatigue and stress of special education teachers and professional staff using mindfulness and prayer. The Journal of School Nursing, 34(6), 442-448.

Todd, A. R., Bodenhausen, G. V., Richeson, J. A., & Galinsky, A. D. (2011). Perspective-taking combats automatic expressions of racial bias. Journal of personality and social psychology, 100(6), 1027.